Chapter Text
the polycule™
lalalaurens: WHO TURNED MY AUTOCORRECT ON
hamsandwich: :)
lalalaurens: WHY
hamsandwich: your texting is illegible
lalalaurens: :(
lafayes: i agree with short man
hamsandwich: HEY
hunkules: GLKHJFLHJFKG
hamsandwich: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT
hamsandwich: more importantly, WHY UNPROVOKED??
lafayes sent an image.
lafayes: a man who cannot reach top shelf and ask hercules to help
hamsandwich: WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT TAKING SNEAK PICTURES
lafayes: practice ;)
lalalaurens: Wait wait hold the fucking phone
lalalaurens: Herb are those abs?
lalalaurens: :/ Herc*
hunkules: they most certainly are
hamsandwich: not*
hunkules: >:/ you don't know what goes on under my shirt
hamsandwich: is that a challenge?
hunkules: WAIT NO I TAKE IT BACK
hamsandwich sent an image.
hamsandwich sent an image.
hunkules: ALEXLFGKHLF STOP
hamsandwich sent an image.
hunkules: OKAY THAT'S IT
lalalaurens: Is that Alex screaming??
lalalaurens: Jesus Christ it even autocorrects names
lalalaurens: Alex doesn't deserve capitalization
lafayes sent a video.
lalalaurens: Lamb
lalalaurens: Huh
lalalaurens: Lamb*
lalalaurens: Lamb*
lalalaurens: L-M-A-O*
hamsandwich: LAF WHY
hamsandwich: YOU MAKE ME SUFFER AND THEN FILM IT FOR JOHN TO SEE
hamsandwich: WOE
lalalaurens: What even was that
lafayes: hercules placed a
lafayes: ummm.....
lafayes: anglais...
lalalaurens: He placed an English??
lafayes: >:/
lafayes: une... cold water. but it is hard
hunkules: ice cube
hunkules: down his shirt
hamsandwich: SUFFER
hunkules: I'm actually a little concerned the neighbors are gonna call the cops
hunkules: that was a lot of screaming at 8 in the morning
lafayes: over-react
hamsandwich: NO
hamsandwich: that ice cube was FUCKING COLD
hamsandwich: thank you, herc, for getting the rim of my fucking boxers wet too!!!
hamsandwich: i didn't bring a spare :(
hunkules: ;3
lalalaurens: What is even happening down there
lafayes: you are still in bed?
lafayes: we are having breakfast before hercules leaves
lafayes: well. we are try to.
lalalaurens: No I'm on my way down
burrger --> hamsandwich:
burrger: Good morning. I noticed you are absent from your bed and I wanted to reach out and see if you were alright or needed some assistance.
burrger: So... Are you alright?
hamsandwich: why do you always have to text me like you're writing an email
hamsandwich: talk in lowercase, make a run-on sentence, use a fucking emoticon for christ's sake
hamsandwich: but don't come in my dms if you're gonna use Professional Speak on the weekend
burrger: I will take that as a yes.
burrger: Is there a particular reason why you are missing this morning? You don't have class until tomorrow.
burrger: Did you take your studying to the library this morning?
hamsandwich: sorry i didn't realize we were doing role call for the two (2) people in our dorm
burrger: We aren't.
burrger: I was simply concerned that you may be taking your studying too seriously again and pulled an all-nighter to study in the library.
burrger: I would be worried if you passed out at a desk in one of the study rooms.
hamsandwich: that only happened one time.
burrger: Yes, but it could happen again.
hamsandwich: then it would be my problem, not yours.
hamsandwich: mind your fucking business.
burrger: I'm only asking out of concern.
burrger: I am your friend, after all. We have to look out for each other.
burrger: Hello?
the polycule™
hamsandwich: UGH
hamsandwich: WE NEED TO GET OUR OWN PLACE
hunkules: what happened?
hamsandwich sent an image.
hamsandwich: BURR HAPPENED
lalalaurens: Waif
lalalaurens: UGH someone PLEASE fix my phone
lalalaurens: W-T-F*
hunkules: that picture better be clean, I just got to work
hunkules: and I'd rather not show my manager more than she bargained for
lalalaurens: @hunkules, no you're good
hunkules: thanks
hunkules: HUH WHAT THE FUCK IS BURR'S PROBLEM
hamsandwich: I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!
lafayes: i do not understand? he is asking for your well-being?
hamsandwich: it's just that he keeps trying to get on my dick about EVERYTHING. ever since we met, it's been "alex don't do this! alex don't do that! blah blah blah i'm so much more responsible than you!"
hamsandwich: it's fucking infuriating!!
lalalaurens: Yeah that's messed up
hunkules: damn what the hell man
hunkules: he used to be cool
lalalaurens: Well...
lafayes: how you say?
lafayes: no he didn't.
hunkules: true LKGHLFGH
lalalaurens: LMAO
lalalaurens: Oh pod it worked that time
lalalaurens: :/ P-O-G*
hamsandwich: guys i'm serious. we need a place of our own.
hunkules: about that.
hunkules: I've been looking for some places and I gotta say. it's not looking good.
hamsandwich: what do you mean
hunkules: well.
hunkules sent an image.
hamsandwich: WHAT THE FUCK
lalalaurens: Holy shit
lafayes: ???????
lafayes: this is the price for a house?!!!
hunkules: yeah. idk if we could afford a place rn even if we wanted to
lalalaurens: Why is it so expensive???
hamsandwich: capitalism and shitty landlords.
hunkules: ^
lafayes: see! i tell you france is better. but no! you do not believe me
hunkules: but? you came to america before we even met you? that was your choice
hamsandwich: you came to america before i did.
lafayes: oui and i may have made a Mistake
hamsandwich: ugh
hamsandwich: so i guess i'm stuck with burr.
hunkules: you could probably move in with us
hunkules: our bed is small but we could make it work
hunkules: or there's the couch
hamsandwich: really? you'd let me move in with you guys?
hunkules: yeah man! if it's alright with laf, I mean
hunkules: @lafayes?
lafayes: this is fine with me
lalalaurens: We still gotta keep an eye out for a bigger place for all of us though
hunkules: if we move some furniture around, we might be able to squeeze you in too @lalalaurens
lalalaurens: Thanks man but it's alright! I'm cool staying with my dad right now
lalalaurens: But I think Alex might commit a murder on Burr soon if we don't get him out of there
hamsandwich: a burrder
hunkules --> lafayes
hunkules: holy fuck oh my god dude I just realized
lafayes: you forget your lunch?
hunkules: what no
hunkules: the discussion in the group chat
lafayes: oui? what about?
hunkules: I didn't even ask you ahead of time if it was alright for alex to move in
hunkules: I just offered without asking you first
lafayes: oh
lafayes: alexander living here is not worrying to me, there is no need to worry
hunkules: still, I should have asked first. I'm sorry
lafayes: oui maybe
lafayes: but this is alright!
lafayes: i am not mad :)
hunkules: are you sure?? you better not just be saying that
lafayes: do you see my smile face? :) :) :)
lafayes: i am sure
hunkules: that's not as reassuring as you think it is
lafayes: >:(
hunkules: ok now you're mad
lafayes: hercules. it will be nice for alex to live here
hunkules: oh right! he could keep you company during the day without having to drive all that way
lafayes: oui
lafayes: and at night too ;)
hunkules: I'M AT WORK OH MY GODKGJKHK
hunkules: how do you even know what that means
lafayes: i am dating 3 men
lafayes: 2 of these men are alex and john
hunkules: that's. fair actually
hunkules: shit I gotta get back to work before my manager yells at me
hunkules: iloveyousomuchgottagobye!!!
lafayes: <3
burrger --> jefferoni
burrger: Good morning, Thomas.
jefferoni: is there a reason why you're texting me
burrger: There is.
jefferoni: skip the pleasantries and get on with it then
burrger: Very well.
burrger: It's about Hamilton.
jefferoni: goodbye
burrger: You aren't going to hear me out?
jefferoni: it is sunday.
jefferoni: i am about to meet up with my boyfriend.
jefferoni: you are wasting my time.
jefferoni: get on with whatever bullshit you're going to say or get out of my dms
burrger: Rude.
burrger: Ahem. I wanted to ask you about Alexander's performance in the law class you share. More importantly, I believe you both have a midterm tomorrow morning, if I am not mistaken. I am curious to know: do you believe he will have difficulty with it? If so, what areas do you think he may need improvement with?
jefferoni: oh my fucking god.
jefferoni --> hamsandwich
jefferoni sent an image.
jefferoni: get your boyfriend out of my dms.
hamsandwich: do not EVER say that to me again
the polycule™
hamsandwich sent an image.
hamsandwich: I AM GOING TO COMMIT A BURRDER